Starting Primary School: A Guide for Parents

Starting primary school can be a big adjustment for young children, especially if it’s their first experience with a structured and regimented environment. Many parents face challenges when their children are reluctant to attend school, or they may experience separation anxiety in the early days. But there are several strategies that can help ease this transition and make the experience more positive for both the child and the parents.

Managing Expectations from the Start

One common approach is to establish clear expectations from the beginning. It’s important to communicate to children that going to school is not optional. This may seem tough initially, especially when a child expresses reluctance, but it’s essential to instill a sense of responsibility. Some parents find it effective to reinforce the idea that school is part of their child’s job. Phrases such as, “Going to school is part of growing up,” can help set the tone that education is important, even when it may feel challenging at first.

Positive Encouragement

When children are struggling with the new routine, providing positive reinforcement can help. Encouragement goes a long way in helping children overcome their fears and anxieties. Let them know that you are proud of them for attending school, even if they feel scared or unsure. Simple phrases like, “You’re so brave for going to school,” or “I know you’ll do great today,” can help boost their confidence and give them the reassurance they need.

Preparing for the Day

Morning routines can be a source of stress, especially if a child is reluctant to get ready for school. One way to ease this process is to let children have some control over certain aspects, such as picking out their own uniform or packing their own school bag. This gives them a sense of responsibility and can make them feel more prepared for the day ahead. Additionally, parents can pack their favorite snacks or a small surprise, like a sticker or a note, to look forward to during the school day.

Separation Anxiety

It’s normal for children to experience separation anxiety during the initial stages of their school journey. Some children may cry or express a strong desire to stay home. This can be emotionally difficult for both the child and the parent. However, it’s important to avoid lingering during drop-off. Children quickly pick up on any hesitation or emotional tension, which can make the situation harder for them. A quick and confident goodbye, followed by reassurance that you will be there to pick them up after school, can help them settle in more easily.

Creating a Positive After-School Routine

The transition doesn’t just end when the school day is over. After-school activities and routines play a crucial role in helping children adjust. Creating a consistent and calm environment after school, with time for rest or play, can help children decompress and process their day. This also provides an opportunity for parents to connect with their children and talk about their experiences. Asking open-ended questions about their school day can help them feel heard and understood.

Building Social Connections

Another key aspect of adjusting to primary school is forming new friendships. Many children may miss their friends from preschool, but as they start making new friends in school, they often begin to look forward to their school day. Encouraging children to engage in social activities, whether it’s through games during recess or group projects, can help them feel more comfortable in their new environment.

Celebrating Milestones

As the weeks go by, it’s important to celebrate the small victories. Whether it’s attending school without tears, making a new friend, or completing a difficult task, acknowledging these milestones can motivate children to keep going. Positive reinforcement, like offering a treat or special time together, helps them associate school with rewards and accomplishments, rather than anxiety and stress.


It’s important for parents to remain patient and supportive as their children adjust to primary school. Each child’s experience will be different, and it may take time for them to settle into the new routine. Through consistent encouragement, open communication, and gentle guidance, parents can help their children navigate this transition with confidence and a positive mindset. While it may be a tough start, soon enough, children will be looking forward to school and embracing the opportunities it brings.

See our Primary School Ranking Guide for more resources to help you choose the best school for your child.

 

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